09 March 2016

Ranting About the Vapidity of the Twitterverse

So, I’m looking through my news feed for something to rant about, which usually proves easy as I’m easily riled by the idiocy of human behavior, whether mean-spirited ignorant deeds by trailer trash or bombastic disregard of common decency by the one percent. But vacation is imminent, so my dander is down–and the only thing that’s going to rile me is any airline fuckery that might delay my journey. In fact, I had envisioned this rant as being airline-related, but the airlines have uncharacteristically proven to be on-time and absent any of the usual undue difficulty.

So, what the firetruck am I going to rant about?

Nothing new with our brilliant slate of primary POTUS aspirants. And certainly nothing that hasn’t been ranted about before by so many others. The Donald remains one percent, bombastic and full of whatever ludicrous hyperbole will incite the masses. Cruze continues to exude a self-righteous, holier-than-thou, I-know-what’s-best-for-everyone mien; along with the sense that his expected role in Armageddon weighs mightily on his mind. Sanders is so Lefty-Socialist that “Feel the Bern” would take on a whole new meaning when you feel it in your wallet after his government appropriates everything so as to share the wealth. And Hillary, well, “I just don’t trust her” seems to be an especially common theme that, yes, I also ascribe to (and what’s with those Asian-Communist-dictator-style pantsuits she likes to sport?).

I could rant about trying to type this out on an iPad mini and a keyboard the size of a hash brown, but what the fugawi…like the reader really wants to hear about my trials and tribulations….

Yeah, I’m on vacation, so I can piss right off.

OK, how about “Twitter?”

And what the frig am I asking you for? It’s my rant.

So, in my news feed I see how Kim Kardashian apparently rocked the Twitterverse earlier in the week by posting a semi-nude selfie. Kudos for Bette Midler for calling her out with a response Tweet saying something along the lines of fans would only see something new about Kim if she dropped a GoPro down her throat. Some other celebrities also weighed in about her lame efforts at self-promotion, and she was chastised by numerous Tweets from the public at large. Nevertheless, her selfie still managed to receive more than 1million “hearts” from her fans.

I am not a Twitter-Bird or whatever the hell they call folks who spend a lot of time on Twitter these days. I follow maybe 12 people and am followed by about eight, and generally (until a Tweet firestorm arises) only look at Twitter once a month or so. But I find the whole concept fascinating.

Kim via Twitter was no exception. Especially when I saw in the news that she has more than 40 million followers on Twitter. Now wait a minute, 40 million people around the world are waiting with baited breath for whatever pronouncement Kim might make, whatever glimpse of a tit or her bubble-butt she might bestow?

Naturally, I had to get on her Twitter feed to see what I was missing.

Not much, it turns out. I think I went through all her Tweets since Christmas and found…well, fuck all (I am now full-on ranting and tired of sugarcoating the “F” word). Nothing at all intellectual, nothing at all scintillating, nothing humorous, and certainly nothing at all worth following her on Twitter for.

So why do people follow her?

And perhaps more importantly, who else do the multitudes follow?

It’s sad, and this finally brings me to the crux of this rant: The Top 100 most followed people in the world on Twitter are almost all celebrity entertainers. Sadly, Kim Kardashian is 12th on the list, and I say “sadly” because I find it appalling that someone who offers so little to the world is so popular…for no real reason, that I can discern. I mean, other than a sex tape, a role in a reality TV show, and being married to a mentally unbalanced rap star, what has the woman done? Why do some 40 million people want to be among the first to see her latest selfie or read her latest vacuous comment?

Katy Perry, with more than 84 million followers, is number one on the Twitter Top 100 list, followed by Justin Bieber (76 million) and Taylor Swift (72 million). Well, at least they offer a modicum of talent. 

Barack Obama, at number four, is the first on the Top 100 list who is not specifically a celebrity entertainer, but eight out of ten among the next 96 are. I understand people’s love for entertainment, but what of more serious pursuits?

Where are other statesmen, the intellectuals, the brilliant thinkers, the peacemakers, the people and institutions that truly have the power to change the world? Other than Obama, Bill Gates and NASA, none make the list. And very few even make it to the Top 200. Sad to say, but almost all of the Kardashian clan (excepting Bruce/Kaitlyn) and their predecessor in undeserved fame, Paris Hilton, rank higher than the Pope and the Dalai Lama.

What does this say about human society? How can a handful of vapid, talentless people who do nothing to enhance the world and humanity, and who’s only claim to fame consists of sex tapes, reality TV, and the eye of the tabloid media, garner so much more popularity than the thousands of people who truly make a difference in this world?


And with that, Hash-It-Out, while I vacation….

–M.J. Moye



M.J. Moye