04 August 2015

Hashing Out the Republican Candidates by Their Own Words

Well, kids, 2016 nears and the race for the U.S. presidency is heating up fast. Seventeen candidates–and counting–have jumped into the Republican Primary soup pot, while only four are stirring in the Democratic Primary pot. So, who are these Republican candidates, and what will it mean for our great nation should one of them ultimately bring the presidency back into the Republican fold?

To try and answer that question the political pundits here at Hash It Out! have examined the Republican candidates by their own words. That’s right, we’ve looked at each candidates’ most profound quote and interpreted what that quote might mean for the country should its speaker ultimately be elected to the highest office of the land. While only an exercise, we believe our readers will be able to use this information to gain new insights about the candidates, their positions on important issues, and their leadership styles. We’ll conduct a similar exercise to examine the Democratic candidates in a future blog.

So, here goes–the Republican Presidential Candidates in their own words:

Jeb Bush

“It’s really important to recognize that family life in America has changed pretty dramatically.”

–“I am not my father and I am not my brother.” 

Ben Carson

“I started reading about people of great accomplishment…and it dawned on me suddenly that the person who has the most to do with what happens in your life is you.”

–“What in the world was I reading that boring book for when I should’ve been out doing things that will make people write books about me?”

Gov. Chris Christie

“If I missed my moment, I missed my moment. I mean, I wasn’t pining to be president of the United States.”

–“I really, really, really want to be president more than anything else in the world.”

Sen. Ted Cruz

th-4“I was bitten by an octopus.”

We believe the Senator is making an allegory with the eight arms of the octopus representing eight evils–big government, immigration, welfare, gay marriage, abortion, Godlessness, Obamacare, tax and spend–of the Left. The Senator likely concluded this remark by noting that he ripped the arms off the octopus and then turned it into the equivalent of calamari.

Carly Fiorina

“Very ugly things were said about me.”

–“Heads are going to roll!”

Jim Gilmore

“It’s not enough to tell people to be creative; they need to know how, and what to create.”

–“People are sheep, and I’m the shepherd.” 

Sen Lindsey Graham

“I don’t blame anybody for using the tax code to their advantage.”

–“I am going to continue to support my corporate friends.” 

Mike Huckabee

“I’ve never, ever tasted beer.”

–“We need to reconsider prohibition.”

Gov. Bobby Jindal

“The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with.”

–“I’m very tolerant of all viewpoints, except those I disagree with.”

Gov. John Kasich

“The actions that we took were not always easy. The actions that we took were not always popular. But when you get yourself in public office, you must lead, you must do what’s necessary.”

–“I’m going to do whatever the hell I want, so people better keep out of the way.”

George Pataki

“And one of the most frustrating parts, but it’s an inherent part of our democracy, is we have separation of powers.”

–“Dictatorship has proven to be a very effective means of governing.” 

Sen. Rand Paul

“Are you just going to drop a hellfire missile on Jane Fonda?”

This one is hard to interpret as it’s posed as a question. However, we believe the Senator is clearly insinuating that the “cold war” between the Right and the Left is getting hot, and thus starting to speculate on armaments and strategies that will ultimately help the Right win the war.  

Rick Perry

“But it wasn’t until I graduated from Texas A&M University and joined the United States Air Force, flying C-130s all around the globe, that I truly appreciated the blessings of freedom.”

–“I will make sure our military is prepared to spread the blessings of freedom around the world.” 

Sen. Marco Rubio

“I would love nothing more than compromise. But I would say to you that compromise that’s not a solution is a waste of time.”

–“My way or the highway!”

Rick Santorum

“Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage.”

We’re not quite sure about this one, but we are concerned that it may mean an increase in U.S. airport line-ups, as TSA agents double-check passenger marital status.

Donald Trump

“The point is that you can’t be too greedy.”

–“I want it all!” 

Gov. Scott Walker

“Elections have consequences.”th-5

“Heads are going to roll!”

What do you think? Have we successfully interpreted these quotes so as to provide you with a deeper understanding of the Republican candidates, their leadership styles and core positions? Hash it out!

–M.J. Moye



M.J. Moye