17 August 2015

Hashing Out the Democratic Candidates by Their Own Words

Earlier this month we provided you the most profound quotes of the 17-and-counting Republican  presidential candidates and interpreted what each quote might mean for the country should its speaker ultimately be elected to the highest office of the land. The August 4 blog was an exercise conducted to help our readers gain new insights about the candidates, their positions on important issues, and their leadership styles. And now, as promised, it’s time to conduct the same exercise on their Democratic rivals.

th-11So, here we go–the Democratic Presidential Candidates in their own words:

Vice President Joe Biden (while not an official candidate, VP Biden has recently indicated that he may make a run for the presidency, and given that he is the current vice president, we felt it prudent to include him here).

“No one making less than $250,000 under Barak Obama’s plan will see one single penny of their tax raised, whether it’s their capital gains tax, their income tax, investment tax, any tax.”

–We are going to sock it to the rich!”

Jeff Boss (yeah, we know–Jeff who?)

“On July 15, 2015 the former high ranking NSA agent William Binney confirmed to me that NSA is trying to kill me. I have over 10 assassinations attempts this week.”

–I am a total nutbar, but the nuclear football is completely safe in my hands.

Lincoln Chafee

“As a former Republican, I represent a group of Americans who all too often have no one to speak for them. This group doesn’t necessarily have a name. We’ve been called ‘moderates,’ but that term can be misleading.”

–My former Republican colleagues hate me and my new Democratic colleagues don’t trust me, and you know what, I am going to do my best to piss them both off. 

Hillary Clinton

“We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

–Hope you like Socialism.” 

Martin O’Malley

“Leadership is about making the right decision and the best decision before, sometimes, it becomes entirely popular.”

–You might not like my decisions, but I’m going to ram them down your throats and force you to like them.”

Bernie Sanders

“I’m not a Democrat, I’m an Independent, but I caucus with the Democrats.”

–I will be the most Left-Wing President, ever.”

Jim Webb

“Ronald Reagan came in–he was a leader. Some of my Democratic friends don’t like it when I say that. He had a vision where he wanted toth-10 take the country, and things started moving again.”

–“I’m a Republican in Democratic clothing”

Robby Wells

“$5, $10, $25, $100… any amount is greatly appreciated, and will be used to bring prosperity back to our nation.”

–I know I don’t have a hope in hell of winning, but your contributions will help keep me out of bankruptcy.

Willie Wilson

“We still believe.”

–Heads will roll!

–M.J. Moye



M.J. Moye